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How Do I Pray? A Simple Guide for Beginners

10 min

Unsure how to pray or where to begin exploring the Bible on this topic? Continue reading to find out what Jesus has to say about prayer.

Understanding Prayer

To anyone familiar with spirituality or religion, the concept of prayer is nothing new. More and more folks, especially in the United States, have grown to adopt meditation (though a more secularized version of it).

Prayer is generally a conversation with God in which we express our thoughts, feelings, and desires.

Meditation is often predicated on silent reflection, which calms the mind in an attempt to focus. The Bible indeed discusses meditation, but usually as a supplement to prayer.

"May my meditation be pleasing to him, for I rejoice in the Lord." - Psalm 104:34

Most importantly, prayer is how we spend time with God and, by extension, His Son Jesus because the two are the same, as members of a Trinity.

Unsure what the Trinity is? Read this article here.

Why Pray?

Prayer helps us to stay connected with God and seek His help and support. It’s a way to grow in our relationship with Him and become more like His Son, Jesus.

A Christian is a follower of Jesus Christ; to follow Jesus effectively is to become His apprentice (or disciple).

To become a disciple of Jesus is to be with Him, become like Him, and do as He ultimately did.

"Pray Like This..."

The Lord’s Prayer is an instruction for followers of Jesus, taught by Christ himself. In Matthew's Gospel, Jesus teaches His followers how to pray and tells them to "pray like this..."

THE LORD'S PRAYER: MATTHEW CHAPTER 6

"And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.' For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." - Matthew 6:5-15

Depending on who you are, you might have heard this prayer or even know it like the back of your hand.

Even though my high school sports career was short (and even more so, underwhelming), I remember those brief pre-game moments on the field before my football and lacrosse games when we would gather as a team and recite this prayer over a decade ago.

The Lord's Prayer includes adoration, praise, recognition of God’s will and sovereignty, expression of our needs, repentance of our sins, forgiveness of those who have sinned against us, and a request for God to keep us from temptation and sin for ourselves.

Before we simplify this portion of Matthew Chapter 6, let's cover a few key areas regarding the Lord's Prayer and what Jesus ultimately instructs us to do in our prayer lives.

Prayer is NOT Performance

Let me know if this sounds familiar to you.

You're scrolling through Instagram, X, Facebook, etc. You happen upon a gorgeous and (dare I say) angelic post featuring an open Bible with highlights, handwriting in the margins, and page tabs poking out.

Perhaps a journal is positioned somewhere off the side with a few lovely thoughts, prayers, or observations jotted down in beautiful cursive print.

If the person posting is really feeling it, they likely have some lit candle or beautifully crafted coffee with delicious foam steaming out (can't forget that dash of cinnamon on top).

The post might read something like, "Just God and me this morning."

#jesus

#prayerlife

Something to that effect...

If this description of mine hits close to home for you, it's okay; many of us have been there before. These are nice to see and aren't "bad" per se.

In fact, if you scroll through our Instagram account right now, you'll likely find something similar in one of our previous posts (insert eye-roll and face-palm emoji).

However... prayer is NOT a performance, and just as Jesus told His disciples:

"When you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward." - Matthew 6:5

Jesus refers to this "reward" as attention and celebration, which people often seek in response to their perceived "holiness" and "righteousness." Jesus is saying that this attention will be the only reward folks will receive for making a show of their prayer.

It might sound harsh, but make no mistake: humans often want others to think well of them, and I am certainly no exception (I just admitted that I have participated in this behavior in the recent past).

Again, I certainly have been guilty of this as well. While it isn't for me to say that someone posts their prayers on Instagram so that others may celebrate them (calm down), I am saying that we must intentionally approach our prayer life the way Jesus directs us to.

Here's how we can go about it.

"Go to the Secret Place..."

"But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." - Matthew 6:6

Jesus often stole Himself away to numerous "secret places" to pray and be with God, and He told His followers to do the same. John Mark Comer, author of Practicing the Way, says it best:

"I'm a person, in a body, and environment matters. Certain environments help me focus on my work, while others sabotage my best intentions. In the same way, if we want to reach the depth of life with God that Jesus modeled, we need to find a diversion-free place to get away and be alone with the Father. It could be an office in the woods, your bedroom late at night, or a park down the street from your house. Or if all else fails, a closet or pantry" (Comer 56).

The secret places in our lives are meant to bring the Father and Son into focus and minimize the hurried and hustled lifestyle that so many of us are a part of each day.

I have yet to find my perfect secret place(s), but for now, my office and bedroom are working fine for me in this season of life. They can also work for you if you find it difficult to avoid the busyness that life often imposes.

The Importance of Solitude

Jesus would withdraw to lonely places where He could experience solitude.

I recently took up running because my wife and I are training for a marathon in June this year (as I write this, it is early February). Given our busy schedules, we have no choice but to get up early in the mornings to run before starting our workdays.

Thus, five o'clock morning runs have become my "new normal."

I have found tremendous solitude in doing this. I won't recommend that everyone run around in the dark for over an hour each morning, but I will speak for myself and say that I have come to enjoy running in the dark and being alone with God.

This has allowed me to begin and end my morning runs with prayer and meditation. Coupled with the triumphant feeling of concluding a long run, there isn't anything quite like it.

The point is to spend time in solitude and make room for prayer when possible.

Again, I'm not saying that you need to run outside in the dark alone to experience solitude; I'm just saying that running early in the mornings has reinforced the importance of daily solitude in my own prayer life.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the choice to absorb the debt of another by bearing it yourself.

Jesus tells His followers to forgive those who have transgressed against them because God's forgiveness of us is tied to our forgiveness of others.

God commands forgiveness because He has forgiven you and me. The Gospel story is ultimately one of forgiveness, where God forgives humanity of our sins by sending Jesus as a ransom for the world.

"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” - Mark 10:45

Unforgiveness hinders our prayer life in monumental ways. Thus, the Bible instructs us to forgive before we pray so that our prayers and prayer life are not arrested.

"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” - Mark 11:25

Before we pray, we must search our hearts for anger and bitterness toward others. This will signal that forgiveness is needed.

I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't have a hard time doing this for myself, but my thoughts, feelings, and opinions on such matters don't change the fact that forgiveness is essential for a meaningful prayer life.

The A.C.T.S. Prayer Model

In the 21st century, we seem to have an acronym or model for everything, including the Lord's Prayer.

However, it is essential to understand that the model for prayer I will share here is not found in the Bible because prayer is not a formula.

No model for prayer can make our prayers more effective or boost the chances of our prayers being answered.

This model is, instead, meant to be a guide to help us learn to pray better over time, especially for those who are just starting or looking to enhance their prayer life.

Here's how it goes:

Adoration (A)

Adoration is about worshipping and exalting God, recognizing He is the King of our universe and the source of all goodness in our world.

"Exalt the Lord our God; worship at His footstool! Holy is He!" - Psalm 99:5

Confession (C)

The word "confess" means to agree with.

When we confess our sins to God, we agree that we are wrong and have sinned against Him. This is important because all humans fall short of God's glory, and we need to be saved from our sinful nature.

By sending His Son Jesus as a sacrifice for mankind, God has rescued humanity from our sins, forgiven us, and restored our fellowship with Him through the sacrifice of Jesus.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9

Thanksgiving (T)

Adoration focuses on who God is, while Thanksgiving focuses on what God has done.

We can thank God for many things, whether in our lives or relationships with others or simply for sending a savior in Jesus to heal our broken world.

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Supplication (S)

Supplication refers to prayer requests for our or others' needs.

We can pray for the wellness of others, for healing in ourselves, for wisdom and discernment, and so on.

God wants us to pray about everything in our lives and to be bold in our prayers, asking for the things we want and for others around us (including our enemies).

Just because we ask for something does not mean we will always get it (this is very important to understand). But the simple fact is that God calls on us to bring what we desire to Him because He desires a relationship with His creation (humans).

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." - Philippians 4:6

Praise God by Praying With Others

Of course, group or "corporate" prayer can also be tremendously helpful and effective as followers of Jesus serve as the "body of Christ."

Jesus wants us to build and be in community with one another as Christians because this is how the body of Christ must move and operate in our world. Prayer is a large part of this.

Pray with family and friends, sharing your thoughts and feelings. Participate in group prayers, such as in church or at prayer meetings. Use prayer requests to guide your prayers, and remember to pray for others.

Of course, be respectful and considerate of others when praying together.

What to Expect When You Pray

God may answer our prayers in unexpected ways or at unpredictable times. We must be open to God’s guidance and wisdom, even if it’s not what we expected.

Remember that prayer is a conversation with God, and He desires to connect with us.

We should not be discouraged if we don’t feel God is answering our prayers immediately. Always remember that God's timetables are different from our deadlines.

He is ultimately in control and has a big job to fulfill as the tuner of our cosmos—one He carries out alone as part of a triune God.

God Hears Us... So Pray Until You Pray

Prayer might seem boring, and oftentimes, it is.

Let's face it: our world is moving at the speed of light, or so it might seem sometimes. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like praying or are struggling with doubt or fear.

Remember that God is always listening and desires to connect with us. We must be patient and persistent in our prayers, trusting that God will answer in His time.

Believe it or not, God wants to hear us and intervene in our lives, but this doesn't mean He will always grant us what we ask.

It often seems as though God isn't there, especially in the profound moments of suffering we might encounter for ourselves or those around us. Still, He is always in control, even if the broken world surrounding us bucks and kicks violently like a wild beast, thrashing about and causing chaos or turmoil.

Despite this, God has repeatedly shown that only He can make evil work for good.

We aren't in a position to question how the world ought to be run. However, the Bible tells us in stories such as Job and Habakkuk that He wants us to bring our pain, misery, sorrow, and suffering to Him.

Don’t be afraid to express your emotions and thoughts to God, even if they are difficult or painful. Sometimes, the only thing we can do is to pray until we pray.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you." - Jeremiah 29:12

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